I was on my usual routine of going to work, but on this particular day, something was different. For starters, the train cart was nearly empty. A usual commute for me consists of one thing: music. On this day, the train was suddenly stuck underground. Typical day in New York City. While on the train, there was a mom with her son, who seemed no older than five. There was also an older man sitting at the far end alone, a father with his two young daughters in front of me to my right, two women sitting across from each other to the left, and then me, sitting across from the mom and her son.

When the train stopped inside the tunnel, everyone sighed in disbelief because, like I said, typical day in New York. We were stuck with no connection, with no AC, and then suddenly the train completely shut off. The sound of the ventilators stopped, and the environment became quiet to the point where we all acknowledged each other. The mother with her son that I mentioned before, in particular, showed stress and nearly panicked when she realized there was no internet service in this tunnel. At first, it didn't register why.

After over 5 minutes, I learned why. The mother entered a moment of fear, shame, and worry all at once. While the train became silent, it also became warm. Her child also noticeably became upset, uncomfortable, and frustrated. His mother began saying under her breath,

"Damn iPad... oh my god ... " she kept attempting to turn it off and on. It seemed that she was refreshing it. Hoping that it would magically have Wifi. She continued to wail, 

"please please, not right now, not today."

At that moment, it wasn't fair to assume, but there were extra precautions the mother depended on, as I noticed the child having a body safety strap, large headphones, and an iPad. These are not obvious tellers, but details I noticed she cared deeply about with only her body language and interaction with her child.  The young boy soon became upset that his repetitive video was not loading. When this was not able to soothe him, he quickly grew frustrated. He began whining, and quicky mom removed the strap. It seemed she was very familiar with the situation she was about to face. Please keep in mind that this train cart is nearly empty. I'm assuming this is why Mom felt okay enough to remove this safety strap from him. After doing so, he threw the iPad and quickly got away from her, then ran back and fourth the train cart. He had been doing this for about two minutes, until he grew more frustrated and began taking his shoes off and then his socks and yelping. His mom was just accepting all the phases coming her way.  She seemed ashamed with a sad face while looking at her child with a deep sigh, but at the same time, very aware of how upset he was, as she attempted to offer him his snacks, but it only upset him more.  She knew he would act this way, but couldn't help but show desperation in helping regulate her child the best way she could.

In one of the instances where he ran back and forth, he accidentally bumped into the older man who was sitting alone at the far end of the train. When running in the direction of his mom, the mother repeatedly kept apologizing before he could say a word. And he didn't. He only looked at her with disturbance and judgment. When the mother realized her pleads were'nt enough, she forcefully grabbed her son, sat him down a bit to the left of me. I was practically next to them.  She kept trying to tell him that it would all be okay and that his ipad wasnt working and that he only had to wait a bit more. The child did not understand her to the extent she wished, but seemed to try as he would crawl into her arms for some form of comfort. He then attempted to run back and forth again, but this time mom stopped him.

At this point, it had been much over 20 minutes. I didn't realize how quick and how long we were underground for. After witnessing so much due to her stress, the child's stress, and the judgmental looks. And because I was very in tune with what mom was dealing with, I did catch on and quickly became aware of the situation that was unfolding. I offered help. As mom seemed desperate for something, I asked in a calm tone so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable with me interfering, if he was feeling overstimulated. As soon as she heard the word overstimulated, I noticed a brief sigh of relief. Her facial expression changed drastically.  She replied in a pleading tone, yes. I then went ahead to ask her if he liked songs, to which she said yes. I asked her what his  favorite songs are, she responded with cut words, "The ABC." As soon as she said it, I quickly asked if it was all right that I knew his name, which she then gave to me. 

I began reinforcing the ABC song using his name. I greeted him, while not invading his space, and then began to sing. I made sure to show a strong expression of happiness and model the motor movements such as clapping and when he began engaging with me by showing me smiles and listening, I knew he had some trust, so I gave him very little and soft tickles on his shoulders and when I noticed he had no sensitivity or discomfort with the touch of others, I tickled his arms. When mom noticed just how quickly he self-soothed, she quickly reinforced him with his snacks. He was happily listening to me sing while he ate. During this interaction of mine with her child, the mom shyly looked away, and I heard her sniffles clearly as she wiped tears off her face. I did not want to intrude, so I didn't ask. His mom just seemed relieved and appreciative. While my interaction with her son, I did notice her almost admiring our engagement. 

When we least noticed, the train was moving again. Once the train left underground, she placed his strap back on and gave him his iPad once there was a connection available. She got off at the next stop. She didn't exchange words with me after.  On her stop, she only put him in his small stroller and got off. She didn't have to say anything because from the bottom of my heart, I understood and felt for her. I work with children who have autism, and it presents itself in different ways. This wasn't a situation I was unfamiliar with; it hit home for me. Till this day, I think of them and hope they are doing well. I am just happy it was me on that train that day with them. 

- Arizbeth. H